Are you having trouble setting limits and boundaries with your child and following through with the appropriate consequences?
Do you find yourself struggling with allowing your child to experience the negative consequences of inappropriate behavior?
Are you trying to be your child's best friend?
Do you constantly blame and berate yourself for your child's decisions to act out?
If you answered "Yes" to any of the above questions, it sounds like you have your hands full and are at wits end with trying to raise your child to be productive and responsible. The challenge of Parenting is to raise children to be happy and healthy, confident and cooperative, loving and lovable, and responsible and respectful. And it's not easy. Sometimes we all need some help. Seeking help is the first step in facing and overcoming the challenges we face daily. Perhaps I can be of help.
Not only am I a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in Adolescents and Anxiety, I am also a Certified Systematic Training for Effective Parenting (S.T.E.P.) Coach and Educator. I provide Counseling and Coaching for Parents from the STEP perspective as well as from various other Parenting Programs from which to draw that can be of help in regaining control of your child and family.
If you are feeling like you are losing or have lost control of your child and/or family and are about to put your child up for adoption, or worse, let's talk.
For a free consultation, CALL ME TODAY!
818-577-9751
Rocky J. Lewis MS MFT The Teens Coach helps Parents, too! Available for private Coaching or Group Classes
Following are some Points to Ponder, Tips to Consider, and Rules to live by:
SUPPORTING YOUR TEEN
Adolescence is the start of a new leg of a person’s journey in life. Teens are trying to define themselves, to identify and establish a personal identity while moving toward independence. Transitioning from childhood to adulthood while going through all kinds of physical, mental, social, academic, and especially hormonal changes can be crazy making, for both teens and Parents! Teens haven’t a clue as to how to do this yet, but they are going to give it their best shot. They will certainly test the limits and boundaries while trying to shift the balance of power and authority in their own direction. Following are some tips that can help Parents help their child move toward independence and gain a greater understanding of self, as well as an increase in self esteem.
Educate yourself about Adolescent Developmental Issues. Gain an understanding of the Adolescent Decision making process. Be clear about specific responsibilities. Redefine responsibilities as children age. Allow children to fail as well as succeed. Listen more than talk. Teach and Model that rights and responsibilities go hand in hand. Do not always push for immediate changes or solutions. Do not assume that your Teen’s behavior always reflects on the quality of your parenting. Seek support and guidance for yourself when needed. Doing so will model that asking for help is okay and does not negate one’s worth.
EFFECTIVE PARENTING INVOLVES: Identifying the goals of the misbehavior Changing from the usual response/reaction to something differnt and unexpected Encouraging responsibility Deciding who owns the problem Improving communication with reflective listening Allowing choice and consequence
CHILDRENS BASIC NEEDS--all Children need: To be loved To feel safe To feel understood to feel respected to feel trusted to feel that he/she matters to feel that she/he belongs that she/he can be forgiven
Remember that a child or Teen’s behavior is his/her best attempt to get needs met.
WARNING SIGNS OF TROUBLED TEENS Isolation or distancing oneself from family or usual friends Extreme shifts in Personality, Moods, Behaviors Drug Experimentation, use, abuse Family History of alcohol or substance abuse or dependence Taking extra-ordinary, extreme, irrational risks Apparent lack of concern for Consequences, or lack of ability to connect choices with consequences
Remember, the most important tools in raising young people are love, compassion, sensitivity, praise, understanding, communication, and mutual respect.
TIPS FOR EVERYONE If you do not take care of yourself, no one else will. Feeling powerless is a state of mind. Happiness is a state of mind. No matter what you do or say, half the world will like it and the other half will not. Change does not occur without risks. Everything worth doing is difficult.
Food for thought for September 2009
“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.” Mark Twain, “Old Times on the Mississippi” Atlantic Monthly, 1874
Psychotherapy / Counseling for Pre-Teens, Adolescents, Teens, Individual Adults, Families, Parents. Child Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Psychotherapy for Adolescents, Counseling for Teens. Specializing in Treatment of Agoraphobia, Treatment of Panic Disorder, Panic Attacks, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, In-Home Treatment for Panic Disorder Specializing in Adolescent Psychotherapy, Counseling for Teens, Counseling for Adolescents, Parenting, Parenting Coaching
